


Words don't come easy

by Solveig69



Category: Ylvis
Genre: Brotherly Love, M/M, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-05
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2018-07-12 12:27:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7103377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solveig69/pseuds/Solveig69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vegard is given an exciting opportunity to change his career.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A phone call

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first attempt to write a fanfiction story. I´d appreciate your comments :)

It was a sunny morning. Gentle gusts of fresh air got into the kitchen every now and then through a partially open window, making the fluffy white curtains billow in the breeze. Vegard was sitting at his oak dining table, which took up quite a lot of space in his tiny, but cosy kitchen. He was clutching a mug of hot black coffee and staring absent-mindedly at a large framed aerial photo of his hometown hanging right opposite on the wall. Vegard's neighbour Lars, who lived in the next block and over the years had become one of Vegard's few close friends, was sitting across from him, sipping from his cup and waiting patiently. He had no clue why Vegard had called him in the early morning and had asked him to come over and have breakfast with him. Lars guessed it was something important, something that had been bothering Vegard for some time. His friend probably needed his help, if not a piece of advice, then perhaps an unbiased opinion from someone not involved in his working or family life. 

Vegard was thinking, not knowing exactly where to start. “Lars, I guess I just need to talk to a friend. My head is a total mess right now. Thanks so much for coming, it's incredible that you're always there for me. The thing is, I got a job offer that sounds really tempting and I don't have the slightest idea what to do about it.“ 

Vegard inhaled heavily as if he was short of breath and continued. “Do you remember when my brother and I were making that new song Engine for Gabriel? We invited Bjørn Kjos, the CEO of the Norwegian Airlines to our show and of course I told him that I have a pilot licence. Now I think I must have sounded quite enthusiastic about it, because I have no other explanation to what happened next. You wouldn't believe that. Bjørn must have given my telephone number to someone at Nordia, you know what it is, a local airline company, they have their seat near Bergen. And imagine, a week ago they called me and said they were looking for new staff, especially qualified pilots. To cut the long story short, they offered me a permanent job. Of course they will need to see my certificates and stuff, but they seemed to be pretty serious about it. Actually, they only gave me a week to decide, and that's a bummer, I can tell you. How could anyone decide about their future in one week?“ 

Lars's eyes opened wide with amazement. “Oh man, that's brilliant! Wow! Vegard Ylvisåker, at last you have a chance to make your dream come true! What are you hesitating about? Remember how many times you've told me you've had enough of those endless disagreements with Bård? Wow, dude! That sounds so perfect! Makes me feel so proud of you!“

Vegard chuckled, feeling a blush spread across his cheeks: “Calm down, Lasse, as you can see, nothing is decided yet, I really don't know whether I should take the job or not. It's not that easy, you know...“

Suddenly they were interrupted by a beeping noise coming from the sitting room. Vegard got up, glanced at Lars and noted: “Sorry, it's my mobile phone.“ After a second Lars could hear Vegard's subtle voice coming from the adjacent room, but he couldn't make out any words.

Before long Vegard came back to the kitchen. He tossed his mobile on the cupboard and gave Lars a blank stare. He looked pale, his distress was clearly visible on his face. Vegard had been trying to avoid these exciting, but also painful thoughts for the whole past week, but now it was clear that he couldn't put off his decision any longer. In his head he could still hear the man's firm voice: “We can give you a few more days, Mr. Ylvisåker, but you'll have to tell us your final decision by next Monday. Unfortunately we can't wait any longer and if you reject our offer, we will have to contact the other candidates.“ 

Vegard landed heavily in his chair and got immersed in his own thoughts. Lars quietly watched him and after a while he asked: “Still, I don't get what's holding you back. What is it that's bothering you so much?“

Vegard lifted his tired eyes and replied in a hoarse voice: “Well, first of all, I have no fucking clue how Bård will react to this. But I'm quite sure about one thing. If I accept the job, I'll feel like a repulsive traitor.“


	2. Despair

The same Saturday morning Bård was lying on the leather sofa in his apartment, his head resting on the padded armrest and his eyes focused on a book about garden roses. He had bought the book the day before while he was roaming aimlessly round the local department store. Bård found the page with the first chapter, but after a while he realized he had been staring at the same line for a few minutes, so he grabbed the remote control and switched on the TV. There was his favourite programme about a golf tournament from England. He was trying to concentrate on the game, but his thoughts seemed to be living a life of their own and they kept running away to the only image that had occupied his mind for most of the last week - his brother Vegard. 

Bård hadn't seen Vegard for seven long days and that simple, yet incomprehensible fact filled his heart with terrible anguish. ´How dare he not answer my phone calls? Why won't he send me a message? What have I done to him? What shall I do now?´ Bård was confused and unable to think properly. His head was spinning with rapid thoughts and questions that appeared and died suddenly like embers in the fireplace. It had never happened before, at least Bård could not remember being without his brother for so many days. He glanced at his mobile phone for the hundredth time, but there was still no message. “Why won't that idiot call me back?“ Bård cried desperately and his voice echoed in the empty room. 

Overwhelmed with anxiety and worries, Bård suddenly started trembling, like so many times that week. He could feel another surge of panic spreading from his knees like a stream of boiling lava up through his body. Uncontrollable fear was mercilessly rising up to his abdomen, stomach and chest until it reached his throat and squeezed it so hard that he could barely breathe. His eyes filled with tears as he realized how desperate and helpless he was. He had been getting these horrible panic attacks since his childhood, they tended to occur unexpectedly whenever he was feeling insecure or distressed. Bård had always suspected that his anxiety disorder started when they were living with their parents in Africa, where they had experienced several nasty incidents with the local rebel groups. Luckily, no one had ever been killed, but the terrifying sounds of machine guns had remained imprinted in Bård's mind for ever. The only person who had been able to calm him down back then was his older brother. Unlike their mother, who had always been too distressed to comfort her sons, and their father constantly at work, Vegard had used all his creativity and unique sense of humour to distract his little brother and Bård had sought comfort in his presence whenever these incidents happened. 

Vegard knew, of course, that Bård still got these anxiety attacks from time to time, but he had no idea about the real scale of the problem. Bård had never wanted to make a fuss about it and moreover, he also felt rather ashamed of it. That's why he preferred to keep silent about these issues, since such talks with his close friends and family usually made him feel weak and humiliated. ´Today it has been my fourth one,´ Bård thought to himself despondently. He knew he just had to wait patiently and try to inhale and exhale slowly until the tight grip of the attack loosened and gradually left his body like an outgoing tide. ´What on earth has happened? What's up with my brother? Doesn't he know I miss him?´ It hit Bård full force how much he needed his big brother by his side, he simply couldn't imagine what he would do if something bad had happened to him. They weren't used to showing affection to each other, instead of hugs they liked to punch or kick each other with cheeky smiles, but these seemingly unimportant actions spoke louder than any words. 

Bård desperately tried to recall that long gone Friday afternoon when they last said goodbye to each other outside their office with the prospect of a well-deserved week off. Bård was not at all accustomed to not being in touch with Vegard for so long. Over the years it had become a matter of course for them to get together at least every other day even on their days off work. Although when talking with press they usually insisted that they did not see each other privately so as not to cause unnecessary gossip, they both knew it was total nonsense. Bård focused his thoughts back to that last afternoon. ´Did I say anything to Vegard that would make him not respond to my messages?´ No, there was nothing he could remember. On the contrary, it was an extraordinarily pleasant day, they had a lot of fun together, joking with each other and the other staff in their office. Everyone was excited about being able to enjoy a few free days. ´No, there must be a different reason. Something I have no idea about. Why wouldn't Vegard want to talk to me?´


	3. What would we do without Mamma

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so sorry I have kept you waiting for the next chapter for so long. Hope you´ll enjoy it :)

 

 

Lars had been gone for half an hour and Vegard still had no clue what to do about his new job offer. With a deep sigh he realized he needed to get out, possibly somewhere to the country, to be able to sort out his thoughts and hopefully make the right decision in the fresh air. After a slight hesitation, he picked up his mobile phone from the dining table and dialled his mom’s number.

  
“Hei hei, Vegard! How are you?“ he heard his mom’s voice, so familiar and always sounding cheerful and positive.

  
“Hei Mamma! I’m fine thanks, I was just wondering if I could go to the cottage today and stay there for the weekend. There’s no one there, right?“ Vegard asked her carefully.

  
“Of course you can, Vegard. Your dad and I decided not to go there this time because of my backache. I’d rather have a little rest at home. Is everything okay with you?“

  
“Yeah, all is good, don’t worry.“

  
“You’ll have to buy some food and drinks on your way, though, there isn’t much left from last Sunday. And you know where you find the key, right?“

  
“Yeah, sure. Thanks, Mamma! Give my love to Pappa! Take care!“ Vegard was about to hang up, when his mom added: “Thanks, Vegard. By the way, have you phoned Bård yet….?“ Vegard could hear her question, but his fingers were faster than his brain and he pressed the red button before he could even reply. But he wasn’t sure what he would tell her anyway.

  
He collected some clothes from his wardrobe, washed the dirty cups in the kitchen sink and closed the windows, since he wasn’t planning to get back until Sunday late afternoon. In ten minutes he was already sitting in his car and heading northwest to their family cottage.

  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bård was sitting on the sofa, fidgeting and playing with his hands. He had tried to call Vegard once again, but as always during the last week, he couldn’t get through to him. He felt like an idiot, constantly trying to reach Vegard, but obviously he wasn’t worthy enough for his older brother to get back to him. Bård could feel his anger rising again. Suddenly his mobile phone display lit and the ringing tone commanded his attention. Bård jumped up from the sofa, grabbed the phone and looked at the screen. When he saw ‘Mamma’, his heart sank for a second. Not that he wasn’t happy to hear from her again, but he had hoped it was his brother calling him back. He picked up the call.

  
“Hello, Mamma.“

  
“Hei, Bård! Have you talked to Vegard yet?“ she asked Bård with an inquisitive tone in her voice. He rolled his eyes when he heard her question and thought his mom had a unique ability to interfere with any issues occuring from time to time between her adult sons. Bård wondered if all moms were the same in this respect.

  
“Nope,“ he replied curtly.

  
“Well, you might want to know he called me earlier and told me he was going to the cottage for the weekend,“ she revealed Vegard’s plans to him.

  
“What?“ Bård couldn’t believe his ears.

  
“You heard me. He’s on his way to the cottage now, so if you two have any issues to solve, you know where to find him. I just thought you might want to know,“ his mom repeated with a clear intention to help to sort out whatever was going on between her beloved sons.

  
“Okay, thanks, Mamma.“

  
“Are you going there, then?“ his mom urged him to make an instant decision, which annoyed Bård no end.

  
“I don’t know yet. Probably,“ he replied firmly, trying not to lose it with all his might.

  
“Well, if you go, Bård, please, drive carefully. And let me know when you arrive, will you?“ she begged her middle son. Bård unmistakably caught the well-known undertone in her voice.

  
“Mamma, if you are trying to remind me how hopeless a driver I am, thank you very much, I don’t need to listen to that right now, believe me,“ Bård muttered despondently.

  
“No, Bård, you’re reading too much into my words. I’m just worried about you, you know? And it’s a five-hour drive from Oslo, so no wonder I’m worried…“ his mom tried to explain herself.

  
“Well, it’d be interesting to know if you said the same to Vegard. Anyway, thanks, Mamma, speak soon, I’ll call you. Bye!“ Bård said and hung up quickly.

  
‘So, that poor excuse of a big brother is now driving to the cottage,“ Bård thought to himself. ‘Just don’t think you will ignore me much longer, dear brother. I’m coming.’  
He grabbed his car keys, and even though he had to look for his driving licence for a while, soon he shut the door of his apartment with a loud bang, locked it and ran down the stairs.


End file.
